11 Steps to Becoming a Light Being While Ignoring Your Taxes

DESCRIPTION:
From the author of “The Universe Has a Plan (But I Forgot It Again),” comes a transcendent guide to bypassing Earthly responsibilities while vibrating slightly above your unresolved trauma.

In this groundbreaking spiritual handbook, you’ll learn to:

• Mistake dissociation for ascension
• Channel light codes while ghosting your therapist
• Say “I’m not of this world” whenever someone mentions accountability
• And most importantly, ignore taxes, deadlines, and relationships while calling it a “frequency shift”

INSIDE YOU’LL FIND:
• A chakra checklist with zero grounding
• Affirmations that solve nothing but sound amazing
• Diagrams showing how to escape karmic loops using expensive cacao and vague intention
• Instructions for creating a sacred altar using unpaid bills and passive-aggressive journals

BONUS CHAPTERS:
• “If You’re Broke, It’s Just a Money Wound, Not Your Spending Habits”
• “Emotional Regulation is a 3D Concept”
• “My Guides Said No (So I Don’t Have To Respond to That Message)”
• “Light Body Activated: Still Can’t Cook Rice”

REAL PRAISE (PROBABLY FAKE):

“I read this book in one sitting and completely forgot my rent was due.”
“I cried. Then I bought a crystal. Now I’m fine-ish.”
“This book made me realize my shadow is just my brand’s dark aesthetic.”

Preorder now and receive a free printable Soul Contract Forgiveness Letter…
signed by no one. Just vibes.

#YouAreThePortal
#AscensionAvoidanceTactics
#HealingButAlsoFloating
#TaxesAreLowVibeAnyway