(a soft-colored breakdown in seven aesthetically pleasing stages)

Step 1: Deny your nervous system.
Call it “expansion.”
Add sparkles.

Step 2: Disassociate regularly—but do it with rose quartz, so it counts as “deep healing.”
If you dissociate hard enough, you might channel a dolphin.

Step 3: Call every spiritual bypass “grace.”
Cry softly. Film it. Monetize the vulnerability.
Bonus: include a filter that makes your third eye glow.

Step 4: Unfollow anyone who reflects your actual patterns.
Call it “protecting your frequency.”

Step 5: Start a course called “Embodied Light Sovereignty: A Journey Into Me, But Spiritually.”
Price: 888
Content: Mostly recycled Pinterest posts.

Step 6: If you feel empty,
it’s not your hollow lifestyle or unprocessed childhood,
it’s ascension fatigue.
Nap. Post. Repeat.

Step 7: Reach the final state of enlightenment:
emotionally detached, semi-glowing, and
completely disconnected from reality, but popular online.

Reminder:
Actual peace feels boring.
This one? Feels branded.

But don’t worry.
You’re healing.
Probably.
Eventually.
In alignment.

#EnlightenmentForTheAesthetic
#TraumaWrappedInSoftFonts
#PeaceIsABrandNow
#NamasteWithSideEffects