Part 2

Narcissists, especially when it’s a parent, inflict damage that runs deep because they manipulate subtly, under the guise of care or innocence. Here’s a breakdown of what they typically go for and how they harm their children:

• Self-Worth and Identity:
  The first and most profound target is usually your sense of self-worth. Covert narcissists often make their children feel inadequate, subtly or overtly, planting seeds of doubt in their abilities, decisions, and overall value as a person.
• Emotional Stability:
  They gaslight and undermine emotions. You may hear things like “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting,” making you question your emotional responses and ultimately lose trust in your feelings.
• Trust and Boundaries:
  They manipulate boundaries, making it hard to know what’s acceptable or not. Often, they’ll disrespect your limits or make you feel guilty for setting them. This destroys your ability to trust others, and even worse, your ability to trust yourself.
• Self-Expression and Autonomy:
  Narcissists often suppress their children’s authentic self-expression. You may have been discouraged from pursuing your passions or desires because they didn’t align with their image or needs.
• Sense of Safety:
  They create an unpredictable emotional environment, where you’re always walking on eggshells. This erodes your sense of safety in the world, leading to constant hypervigilance.
• Spiritual Connection:
  Since narcissists crave control, they may subtly or overtly undermine your connection to your spiritual self. You may have felt disempowered, doubted your spiritual gifts, or felt disconnected from your own divine truth.

What They’re After: The Real Reasons (Not Social Media Myths)

Covert narcissists are driven by an insatiable need for control and validation, but unlike overt narcissists, they seek to maintain an image of goodness and innocence. Here’s what they’re really after, beneath the surface:

• Control and Power:
  The spiritual core of their behavior is about domination. They cannot stand the idea of others, especially their children, having power or autonomy. They manipulate through subtle means—guilt, passive aggression, or silent treatment—so they can maintain control without appearing harmful.
• Validation and Narcissistic Supply:
  They crave constant affirmation of their worth, often through covert ways like making you feel indebted to them or subtly demanding praise for their “sacrifices.”
• Projection of Their Inner Wounds:
  Spiritually, covert narcissists are deeply disconnected from their own true selves. They feel immense inner emptiness and instead of facing their wounds, they project them onto their children. They attack your worth, your self-expression, and your trust in yourself because these are areas they feel empty or wounded themselves.
• Energetic Drain:
  In a spiritual sense, covert narcissists operate as energetic vampires. They unconsciously feed on the energy and emotions of others, draining their children emotionally to fill their own void. This is the hidden spiritual war aspect—they seek to siphon your energy to sustain their fragile ego and keep themselves from confronting their own wounds.

2. Consequences of This Treatment (Full List)

The long-term consequences of being raised by a covert narcissist, particularly a parent, can be profound. Here’s a full list of how this might manifest in someone’s life:

• Chronic Guilt and Self-Blame:
  Feeling responsible for everything that goes wrong, even when it’s not your fault.
• Lack of Self-Worth:
  Constantly feeling inadequate, unworthy, or unlovable. This often leads to overworking, people-pleasing, or perfectionism in an effort to prove your worth.
• Difficulty Trusting Others:
  Due to years of manipulation, it becomes hard to trust anyone, especially in intimate relationships. There’s always a fear that others will betray or abandon you.
• Self-Doubt and Confusion:
  Not trusting your intuition or decisions because you’ve been conditioned to believe that your perception is wrong.
• Emotional Numbness or Freeze:
  Chronic trauma from covert manipulation can lead to emotional shut down, where you dissociate or “freeze” as a way to protect yourself from further pain.
• Hypervigilance:
  Being constantly on edge, scanning for signs of potential emotional harm or betrayal.
• Difficulty Setting Boundaries:
  Struggling to establish or maintain healthy boundaries with others, or feeling guilty for saying no.
• Depression and Anxiety:
  Living with constant feelings of unease, or a pervasive sadness that seems unshakable.
• Spiritual Disconnection:
  Feeling cut off from your own spiritual gifts or inner knowing, often doubting your connection to the divine because you’ve been conditioned to distrust yourself.

3. Healing: Most Effective Methods for You

Since wounds often goes deep, tailored healing for deep experiences, including the spiritual dimensions, is essential. Here’s a list of the most effective healing practices:

• Somatic Movements and Trauma Release:
  Trauma is stored in the body. Practices like somatic movement therapy or yoga specifically designed for trauma (like Mediyoga) help release this stored tension and unlock the freeze response. These movements allow your body to process emotions without needing to intellectually unpack them. Slow, gentle movements, combined with deep breathing, can restore a sense of safety in your body.
• Spiritual Grounding Practices:
  Since crystals aren’t effective, focus on grounding through earth-based rituals like walking barefoot on the earth, meditating with natural elements, or swimming in lakes. These practices reconnect you to the earth’s healing energy, which is stabilizing for your system.
• Breathwork and Nervous System Regulation:
  Deep breathwork can help regulate your nervous system, moving you out of fight-or-flight mode. Techniques like box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4) help calm the nervous system and release trapped trauma.
• Time in Nature:
  Regular time spent walking in forests or near bodies of water can help calm your mind and regulate your emotions. Nature’s energy is healing, and it can help reset your inner balance.
• Journaling and Self-Validation:
  Writing down your thoughts and experiences can be powerful for reclaiming your voice. Use journaling to validate your own feelings and experiences, especially when doubt creeps in. This helps rebuild trust in yourself.
• Energy Clearing Practices:
  Since some are spiritually gifted, create rituals that clear energetic cords from your parent. You could visualize cutting the cords that drain your energy or use rituals with salt or water to cleanse your aura.
• Tapping (EFT):
  Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) combines acupressure and affirmations to help release emotional blockages. This can be especially effective for releasing guilt, fear, and self-doubt.
• Restorative Sleep and Gentle Rest:
  Trauma, especially stored over time, can leave you feeling depleted. Prioritize rest and sleep as part of your healing. Creating a calm nighttime routine with soothing activities like reading, gentle stretching, or tea rituals can help restore balance.

Moving Forward

This is a deep, multi-layered healing process, but many are equipped with a profound spiritual connection that will guide you. Each of these methods works on different aspects—physical, emotional, and spiritual—of your healing. You don’t need to rush through this; take one step at a time, trusting that your intuition will guide you toward what resonates most at any given moment.